Project30

slippery slope

Last night I met my friend at our favorite restaurant, where I ate mussels. Well, I can’t eat mussels without bread. Period. So I broke paleo, for realz. Not like “cream in my coffee broke.” Broke Rule No. 1. No bread.

Tonight I met a friend from out of town at an Italian restaurant (her choice), where I had bread again. I planned my menu ahead of time; I ordered sausage and onion soup, meatballs, and roasted cauliflower. But. I ate the bread.

During the meal, I got a text from my coach saying our running workout for tomorrow is canceled because the conditions at the track are not safe (too much packed snow). He said we can do the run on our own, or we can just hydrate/mobilize.

What would a good person do? Sign up for tomorrow’s WOD. What will I do? I don’t know.

This is a test. A test of whether I am becoming the Campbell I want to be or the Campbell who lays on her ass if given the choice.

I fear I will pick the wrong answer.

Today I:

• Went to running team for the WOD. Originally LC’ers (long-coursers: people whose races are longer than 1 hour) were supposed to run a 10K, but a bunch of people were complaining of soreness (I seemed to be favoring my right foot a little bit) so we all ran a 5K. Coach: “I don’t want to see anyone roll through here with a 30- or 35-minute 5K. This is supposed to be running.” Me, thinking: “A 30-minute 5K is actually kind of fast for me.” I ended up finishing in 31:03.

• Went to Trader Joe’s for some paleo-friendly ingredients, i.e. a LOT of chicken. I came home and roasted a whole chicken, then I used the carcass and made some chicken stock. I feel like a major baller right now.
  
  
• Weighed. Down 3 pounds.

My only regret is that I don’t want running to take away from my other Crossfit goals, such as pullups (2011: Year of the Pullup) and consistent pushups, not to mention more PRs. (Yesterday I jerked 85 lbs., which is a PR.)

So that’s where I’m at.

This morning’s WOD was tough:

AMRAP in 10’: 1x clean + 10x front squats + 1x jerk. I managed 7 rounds + 8 reps with a 65-lb. bar. Then another AMRAP of 20x pushups + 30x double-unders. I of course had to sub incline pushups and tuck jumps and still managed only 3 rounds + 5 pushups.

But the real news is that Saturday was the first running team group workout. I joined the running team at the box to help me train for the two races I signed up for in April.

I showed up at the track at 8 am for the workout. My longest run in the previous six months had probably been 2 miles. I’m just not good at motivating myself to run.

It was snowing hard by the time the workout began. The coach led us through some drills and we worked on the Pose technique.

Then he assigned the workouts. Mine: three 2-mile splits with 4 minutes of rest in between.

I was floored. I couldn’t believe someone was expecting me to run, in effect, six miles when I hadn’t run that much in the past year.

As with most things Crossfit-related, however, I kept my mouth shut.

Everytime I rounded the track the coaches would say something along the lines of: “Pick your feet up!” or “Don’t be afraid to stretch it out!” Both code for: Do better. My main concern, though, was just staying upright. I just wanted to finish.

And I did, with three times that I was pretty happy with: 20:28, 22:11 and 22:36. I’m not a fast runner, and I’m not in shape, but I have something acceptable to build on, and that makes me think it’s all possible. I can do this. I can be a runner again.

mr365 asked: thanks for the reblog, glad you enjoyed it! what exactly is "Project 30"?

Project30 is a less-than-delineated plan to, by the time I turn 30, get a part of my life in order that I have struggled with for a long time: food, exercise, weight. I started this when I was 27; I’m 28.5 next week. I decided it was time to stop making excuses and really face why I have been unhappy and why I lack the confidence that I know a smart, pretty, funny, friendly woman should have. I have used all of them: “I can’t fight my genes”; “Life is short, I want to enjoy it”; “Diets are anti-feminist.” (The last one is my favorite.) But this is about admitting that I do want to hold myself in esteem, which means liking the way I look and knowing I earned it. Now, I work out every day and I am trying to adhere to the paleo diet. I know this is how I have to behave for the rest of my life. There are no excuses. There is just that truth.

We did back squats at Crossfit today, and my max weight was 65 lbs. It was RIDICULOUSLY EASY. I guess we were supposed to be concentrating on “form” but I just ended up irritated. I have shit to do, you know?? I need to break a sweat. Of course, afterward we did max pullups and weighted pushups, and I got TWO per round in the green band, and I had to do incline pushups.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I did a run yesterday that felt like death. DEATH. I want so much to be really fit, and I get discouraged when it doesn’t happen as soon as I want it to.